As I sit before my screen now – a peeled Red Beauty tangerine to my left – I’m prepared to be at this for a while. It’s fast approaching midnight, perfect time of the day for this. Little one is fast asleep. And for some magical reason, the neighbours upstairs are not throwing shackles or dropping golf balls on the floor tonight. I’m absolutely loving the peace right now, the only sounds audible are just the ceiling fan and me typing on the keyboard, which many have found to be “pretty intense” hahaha.

I always know I express myself best in words – written form. And people who know me best, know that too. But I’ve come to learn that not everyone who knows you well would like you to do what you do best. A few along the way saw it as a threat (to whatever agenda they were fueling), and in my quest to win their favour, I tried to be something else.

I didn’t stop writing just suddenly. It was gradual. First I filtered, I masked what I really meant to say with something that was deemed “more acceptable” to them. Then my narrative changed. A platform that was intended for personal expression became a worship ground for someone with a God-complex. That’s not to say I did not mean what I said, I really did at that point in time. But everyone be thinking I was having the perfect life – it’s only because I wasn’t allowed to talk about the days that were far from normal (I won’t even say good). Then, the dip. I ran out of happy shiny things to talk about because all that’s left is tears, despair, and hopelessness. I don’t remember too clearly but I suppose that was when I became disillusioned with writing.

All of that for acceptance and validation. And eventually, a broken heart. How silly, haha.

It’s been a while since I last did this – and I thought what better way to reignite a long-time passion, than with a reflection of the year’s starting month. Pardon me if my thoughts are all over the place. I’m really excited about this and there are just SO MANY things that I would like to share about. Where and how do I even start – I had 28 days to ponder and I figured I just have to start somewhere somehow and the rest will come flowing.

The year started off on a pretty high note, with celebrations. Birthdays, district kickoff, promotions, weddings. And spirits remain high with the Lunar New Year just round the corner. January might be a lull month for most but I’m not resting on my laurels, so that there will be no such thing as trying to get back into momentum as the year progresses. (Lessons from those who have been there and done that.)

Formed new connections. And reconnections as well – some whom I haven’t seen in years. And somehow you just know who are your people. The moment you start conversing, it’s as if you’ve known them a thousand years.

January being the starter month to an entire year, is also when most of us make new year resolutions and set goals. But goals-setting is just the very first step. Nobody would want their future to be worse off than the past. But how do we move forward from where we are? How do we break down our big big dreams into smaller and achievable actionables, so that the idea of reaching our end destination won’t seem too daunting? I think AIA’s Be 1% Better everyday initiative is a great one. You don’t have to get there all at once, but by taking little steps everyday, you are bound to get closer to where you want to be with each passing day. It doesn’t have to be just about work. For myself, everyday I seek to be 1% better as a daughter, mother, sibling, niece, friend, confidante, secrets keeper… the list goes on. Beyond financial planning, this is just how much I’m empowered to do in my role now. And everyday I’m thankful for it.

Now that I’m back, more than just sharing with you my inner world the way I used to, I’m here with a cause. As a financial advisor, I’ve come to realize how there is so much knowledge surrounding financial literacy that is not taught to us in schools. I’m just thinking if everyone could have access to this knowledge, we would all be making better financial decisions for ourselves and well on our way to leading a truly fearless life. And I really look forward to fulfilling this greater purpose on this platform, 1% at a time.

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” – Mother Teresa